The Master of Disguise (2002)

Synopsis

Famed master of disguise Fabbrizio Disguisey (James Brolin) decides to retire after bringing down the villainous Devlin Bowman (Brent Spiner). Years later, he’s running an Italian restaurant with his wife, “Mama” (Edie McClurg), and son, Pistachio (Dana Carvey). Unfortunately, Fabbrizio’s past catches up to him when Devlin kidnaps both him and his wife, leaving Pistachio alone and confused. Unexpectedly, Pistachio is visited by his Grandpa (Harold Gould), who reveals his true heritage and prepares him for training. Meanwhile, Devlin uses Fabbrizio’s disguising abilities to steal rare artifacts and rebuild his smuggling ring. Elsewhere, Pistachio hires an assistant, Jennifer Baker (Jennifer Esposito), to help find his parents, combining his disguises with her intuition. Some of Pistachio’s masterful disguises include an old woman, a suave gentleman, a German ambassador, and the turtle man. Will Devlin Bowman succeed in stealing the world’s greatest relics, or will Pistachio finally become the Master of Disguise?

Review

I don’t think it’s shocking that I’m saying The Master of Disguise is one of the worst movies ever made. Just like It’s Pat or Freddy Got Fingered, this is a terrible comedy that deserves the hate it’s gotten. It makes sense this was the first and last film Perry Andelin Blake directed, given how bad it is. Admittedly, I feel bad knowing this was supposed to be Dana Carvey’s big comeback after years out of the spotlight. You can also tell there were post-production issues, given the jarring edits and the random scenes in the end credits. So many scenes end abruptly, either with a fade transition or a giant coin sweeping into frame. Plus, the movie runs 80 minutes, 10 of which are outtakes or deleted scenes. Hell, one of the disguises featured on the poster doesn’t appear in the actual movie, only in the end-credits montage.

As Pistachio, Dana Carvey comes off as an idiot, but not even a likable or endearing idiot like most comedies. Whether it’s constantly mugging at the camera or cycling through half-assed impressions, he comes off more annoying than funny. Also, the impressions themselves either come off as random, inappropriate for kids, or downright racist. Conversely, Brent Spiner tries to be compelling, and he probably lands the film’s best joke, but even that gets ruined. I felt bad for Jennifer Esposito since, aside from being the typical pretty love interest, she has little to do. Plus, so many jokes are made about her physical appearance that it comes off as sexist. James Brolin and Harold Gould are so underutilized that I can’t say they’re wasted, since they only show up occasionally. Considering one of the actors was arrested for the January 6th riots, I wonder which he’s more embarrassed about.

Like so many bad comedies from this time, the film relies heavily on fisheye lenses, constant zooms, and quick cuts. Also, most of the film has a weird, soft focus that makes certain shots fuzzier and harder to see. If I can give this movie any credit, Kevin Yagher’s makeup effects are solid, but his talent is wasted. Also, some of the production design is decent, which makes sense given the director’s background as a production designer. Even with these few slight positives, the movie fails more than it succeeds and is a slog to watch. I mentioned before that this film clocks in at 80 minutes, but it feels much longer. Between the terrible jokes, the half-assed impressions, the choppy editing, and the sluggish pacing, this movie sucks. Overall, The Master of Disguise deserves its title as one of the worst movies ever made. Honestly, Little Nicky was better.

Buy The Master of Disguise from Amazon: https://link.amazon/B06fanbpR.

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